Red-hot kind of love
by Fussy Indecisive Pixie
Summary: When you are Sannin smitten with young medical kunoichi, there are countless options to get her attention. Will Orochimaru confess everything or try to win Ino's heart the traditional way? Or accept the fact he will never be her type and get over her somehow? Humor/parody
1. Friends' support

_**Friends' support**_

''Orochimaru-sama.''

Her sweet voice was heard when she bowed respectfully.

''Orochimaru-sama!''

She called his name across the room to greet him.

''Orochimaru-sama?''

She made an adorable pouting face.

''Orochimaru.''

Now Orochimaru startled.

''Is there a need for such a rude tone, Jiraiya?''

''If Ino was still around, you wouldn't hear me at all.''

Worried expression on a dark-haired Sannin made his friend laugh.

''It's fine, nobody noticed because nobody knows you as well as I do.''

Damn. Orochimaru should have known his best friend would become suspicious about his daily absence from the lab.

''Let's see,'' Jiraiya rubbed his chin, ''First you explained you were here to look for Tsunade and you knew exactly where she was. Then you delivered a sample of artificial skin by yourself and you never do it, to finally give the poor girl the thankless job to assemble information and write a report for every procedure where at least one of your creative medicine has been used.''

It wasn't Orochimaru's fault. He wished to browse those reports. It was a convenient coincidence Ino was the one on duty when he came to the hospital today. And yesterday. And last week. And-

''Come on, you will tell me everything,'' Jiraiya nudged him, ''You have no excuse to stay here any more. Ino will be busy for hours, probably cursing you and your unnecessary demands!''

Orochimaru shrugged, knowing Jiraiya was right. Ino was a hard-working girl and, cursing him or not, she would spend time thinking of him.

''For how long?''

Jiraiya didn't waste time on small talk, he wanted to know the facts about Orochimaru's behaviour out of ordinary. And that included spending far too much time at the hospital, spying on a certain young medical kuniochi which gave Jiraiya enough evidence to ask the right question. He may not have a clue about women, but Jiraiya definitely knew men who had similar problems like him.

Orochimaru was staring at two bottles on their table before answering. Until this question, he was secretly hoping it was temporary and it would go away the same way it appeared. Needless to say he didn't know the reason for all the tension he was feeling. Therefore he couldn't solve it and move on.

''You remember when I bought your books?''

He was trying to preoccupy his mind with something else, use his valuable time on his precious experiments or finally have a good night sleep while not thinking about certain young blonde.

''That was months ago.''

Orochimaru shrugged, feeling desperate. The two of them spent countless nights in this very bar, discussing Jiraiya's love life. Orochimaru was making fun of him way too often and he appreciated his friend was serious. More or less.

''I bought them to have my thoughts distracted from this. Issue. Problem.''

''Did it work?''

''Of course not. I couldn't believe you wrote them and not some scribbler! In those books the main character only looks at the object of his desire and - bam! - they are happy and in love!''

Out of all men, Jiraiya should have known it wasn't as nearly as easy as that. Maybe he was feeling frustrated because of the real situation, making his characters irresistible.

''Does that mean you tried that method?'' he teased.

''Of course not,'' Orochimaru frowned, ''I am trying the best method I know. Ignoring that unfamiliar feeling.''

They were both silent when the waitress brought them another two bottles. When she finally left them alone, Jiraiya leaned forward to whisper the unimaginable.

''I think you are in love with her.''

Naturally, Orochimaru reacted impulsively.

''I am not!'' he snapped.

Jiraiya shrugged, giving his friend a compassionate look.

Orochimaru sighed to calm down.

''It's just, you know, I have never been-''

''With a woman?'' Jiraiya provoked.

''Of course I have, I am almost hundred years old!'' Orochimaru snapped. ''What I wanted to say,'' he continued quietly, ''I have never felt like this before.''

At the same time he wanted to be near Ino as much as he wanted to leave her closeness. Her wide smile would make him smile too and he was kind of mesmerized with her blonde hair. Not that he liked blondes. Or slim girls. Or medical kunoichi.

Blonde Suna princess was way too rude.

The girl with buns was uninteresting.

And that pink girl was totally annoying!

But Ino wasn't like them. She stood out by just being herself. But he definitely wasn't in love with her! As a matter of fact, he's never been in love to distinguish that feeling from anything else.

When Tsunade arrived, she scolded them for drinking without her. Jiraiya respected the secret deal of not discussing Orochimaru's personal problems in front of Tsunade, although Orochimaru could use a woman's perspective and experience. He took his shoot to find out as much as possible when Jiraiya left their company to flirt with the waitress.

''Tsunade.''

While she was gazing at him, waiting for his question, Orochimaru hesitated to ask anything.

''What's on your mind?'' she said softly, ''You seemed absent the entire evening.''

''I was wandering,'' he stared at the ground, ''How does love feel?''

A soundly sigh came from his friend, while she was gazing at the distance dreamily.

''It's the most powerful emotion you can experience. To be loved and be able to love is a privilege. The world doesn't exist without that special person and a single thought of the two of you together makes you forget about every problem you have. Not to mention kissing and-''

Tsunade chuckled to herself, aware she got carried away.

''Love feels wonderful,'' she concluded, having a small smile.

There.

Now he knew.

He definitely wasn't in love.

Around Ino, he was in a cold sweat, wishing to leave the room, concerned she might hear something from him she might dislike and end up hating him; he was avoiding eye contact, too nervous to meet those beautiful bright eyes and-

Damn.

''So who is that special lady?'' Tsunade grinned, ''Someone I know?''

''No, it's nobody, I was just curious!''

''Sure, like you asked me details about skin care products and out of nowhere you made your own anti-ageing serum.''

''That's not the same and go to hell.''

''I am very grateful you gave me a sample and you should know it works for real. I feel younger and you are in love for the first time! Are you sure you didn't mix hormones with the ingredients?''

''If you are trying to be funny, you are not.''

''You are actually hilarious. Jiraiya will tell me anyway.''

Orochimaru hated his enthusiastic friends, but more than that he hated this strange feeling he couldn't control.


	2. Relationship tips

_**Relationship tips**_

''Here's something from your sweetheart!''

A large envelope found its place on Orochimaru's desk.

''Jiraiya!'' Orochimaru hissed, ''Somebody will hear you!''

Luckily, Orochimaru was all alone in his lab and Jiraiya had enough spare time to wander around. Just like he anticipated, Jiraiya brought him report he had asked for. What else could Ino have sent him?

''She knows you really well,'' Jiraiya said when he settled in one of the empty chairs at the other desk. ''She said she hurried to complete the task you had given her because you can be so impatient sometimes.''

Not only it was done quickly, it was also done flawlessly. Like Ino wanted to make the report properly so he didn't have to come see her again, complaining and requesting for another one.

Orochimaru folded the papers and put them away. He couldn't look at Ino's handwriting and admire how cute and neat it was. Not in front of Jiraiya.

''It's not the end of the world if you fell for the girl.''

''I didn't!''

Orochimaru crossed his arms, pouting. What did Jiraiya know? He didn't have a clue. But he was really persistent to find out.

''You like the fictional Ino because you don't know her well.''

Huh. Not completely impossible. The only place he could see Ino was hospital where she had to be professional and treat him with respect. Privately, she might have a totally disgusting habit like picking her nose. Or swearing. Or yelling at elder people for no reason.

''Try to get to know her,'' Jiraiya suggested, ''You will see she is not so perfect.''

Of course she wasn't. Nobody was. But she was so close to perfection! Never impolite or rash, always in a good mood, devoted to her job, looking gorgeous and adorable at the same time.

''Or try to win her heart if you want it so much. When she rejects you, you will be able to move on and stop wasting your time daydreaming about the two of you together.''

''So either way, I won't be with her,'' Orochimaru replied bitterly.

''What did you think?'' Jiraiya mocked, ''Men of our age are not interesting to women who are younger than us! That's why you have a specialized house where you can get any woman you want if you pay enough.''

''Sounds great,'' Orochimaru scoffed.

''Or you can search for a young gold digger. You are wealthy enough,'' Jiraiya shrugged.

Perfect and flawless idea. Legendary Sannin becoming a sugar daddy. For goodness sake.

''You suggest I give my money to a random woman so she could pretend she is happy with me?''

''Not to a random! To the one you like!''

Jiraiya didn't get it. Orochimaru didn't need woman's attention, especially if it was fake. He didn't even know why Ino was intriguing him so much. She wasn't the only kunoichi who was young, beautiful, blonde and medic. It could be the way she was talking to him, looking at him, the way she was smiling without a special reason. Replacing Ino with another woman was only a temporary solution. It wouldn't make Ino less desirable. Or him more suitable.

''All's fair in love and war.''

''I didn't say this was love!''

''How can you tell if you never experienced it?''

''I see you were gossiping with Tsunade. Maybe I should tell her what the two of us are saying about her when she is not around!''

''I am trying to help and you are just mean.''

Jiraiya probably deserved some credit for his efforts, although Orochimaru didn't believe there existed someone who was worse help than him. He was too enthusiastic.

''When you somehow get her alone, don't forget to chat her up!''

''I don't want to do that!''

''You have to! How else is she going to find out your intentions? I know she is able to read minds, but I am afraid she wouldn't like what is going on in your head for real!''

What Orochimaru learned over the years from Jiraiya's example, it was never wise to speak your mind around women, even if telling the truth. His deepest thoughts were harmless because they were only unreachable fantasies which mustn't be revealed to anyone, especially not to Ino.

''All I am saying is she sees you as a scientist and a patient, not potential boyfriend.''

This was becoming pathetic. He couldn't be called anyone's boyfriend. He didn't resembled to a boy for more than four decades! How old was Ino again? And did it matter to her? Was he brave enough to find out?

''You must reveal to her your other side.''

''What other side?''

''The side that clearly wants to have her!''

''Everything sounds so dirty when you speak about it,'' Orochimaru snorted with disgust.

Ino was definitely pretty, but she was a person, not an object.

''I envy you already,'' Jiraiya sighed dreamily, ''Imagine she peels off her tight clothes for you! I bet she has a smoking hot body!''

''One more word, Jiraiya, and I swear I will smack you!''

''What?'' Jiraiya grunted, ''Like you love her for her personality!''

''Maybe I do!'' Orochimaru snapped and regretted it immediately.

Orochimaru looked at his friend sheepishly, knowing what he had just said. Jiraiya was grinning expectedly.

''I am glad the denying period is over and now we can finally get down to business!''

Rubbing his hands together, Jiraiya was already plotting hardly possible scenarios.

''Whatever happens between you two, don't bring up your preference in the sack unless you are sure she might agree to do it!''

Orochimaru's mouth was opened in surprise. In disgust. Who would do such a thing? And more important, why? And why was Jiraiya going this far with his advice? Even if he could somehow talk Ino into going out on a date with him, what he should say to impress her? Or get her attention? Or, for the start, not scare her away?

''You won't point out your age or your appearance, but the only thing you have.''

''And that is?''

Many men had money. And power. And experience. And single status.

''Reputation of legendary Sannin, you dimwit! No other man can brag with that!''

Orochimaru didn't see how that was a conversation starter. _Hey there, I am not sure if you have heard of me or not, but I managed to survive not one but two great shinobi wars. That means all of my friends and family are dead for a very long time and I am one of the strongest people alive. _

Oh. That might work.

''Sometimes I wonder how you got any woman!''

''It didn't happen in the recent past, if you really want to know,'' Orochimaru snorted with annoyance.

Surprisingly, Jiraiya didn't seize the chance to point out he wasn't like his friend.

''And I have never cared so much about the outcome,'' Orochimaru admitted quietly.

''Right,'' Jiraiya smirked, ''To stop torturing yourself, you must find out more about her.''

At last. Friendly tip and the most useful one. Then again, Jiraiya obviously had to ruin that too.

''You will learn you have nothing in common, that she is annoying and brainless-''

''Don't insult her. You don't know her.''

''I can't wait for you to find out,'' Jiraiya chuckled.


	3. Among flowers

_**Among flowers**_

''Maybe you should try with presents. Since you are abusing her dedication.''

Ever since Orochimaru confessed everything last week and unintentionally said out loud he would like Ino to like him, Jiraiya didn't miss the chance to advise him. He was also wasting Orochimaru's time which he would probably spend in hospital, bugging Ino.

''Jewellery?''

That was the first thing coming to Orochimaru's mind after hearing 'presents'.

''Don't you think that is a bit exaggerated? Don't forget you will have to explain your gift.''

''Oh.''

It wouldn't be wise to freak her out before getting to know her better. Even if he would find a reason to gift her a necklace or earrings, what if he picked wrong? She wouldn't wear it and brag about grateful and generous him.

''Something nice, but not expensive. Something that she can have near her all the time and think of you when she sees it.''

Orochimaru grinned.

''Flowers!''

''Maybe candy would be better?''

He wasn't in the mood for Jiraiya's suggestions. In his perverted mind even something as innocent as flowers would easily turn into a symbol of lust, so he decided to act fast until this determination didn't disappear!

A small bouquet couldn't hurt. People working with buds and blossoms probably knew what kind of flowers were perfect for his situation. He simply wanted to express gratitude for Ino's hard work. He would say it came to his mind because she did the report so quickly and deserved something nice so she could decorate her workplace. Or her flat maybe. Or-

Orochimaru's heart missed a beat. Yamanaka Ino was standing at the counter of the flower shop! Was it possible she was also a customer? Or her father was Yamanaka Inoichi, the owner of Yamanaka flower shop? Out of all flower shops, Ino was here! This couldn't be real! Maybe he was dreaming or-

''Orochimaru-sama!''

Nope, this wasn't a dream. It was Ino's voice.

''What brings you here?'' she smiled at him.

This was the last time he asked for Jiraiya's advice! What was he thinking while listening to the hopeless romantic? He was so stupid! Was he using his head at all lately?

He couldn't draw back now. First because she greeted him so nicely, as if she was really glad to see him, she was also smiling, looking beautiful and not in a rush like in hospital. She was dedicated to her customer and that was him.

''Pretty flowers you have in here,'' he said, trying to make a casual comment.

''You need flowers?'' she asked.

''No! I mean, the flowers are not for me, I mean, Jiraiya sent me-''

''Jiraiya-sama?'' Ino repeated, gazing at Orochimaru, slightly confused.

''Well, yes,'' Orochimaru managed to say without stammering, ''You see, Jiraiya has a girlfriend.''

He wasn't able to think, so saying something about Jiraiya's love life was far better than confessing his friend had sent him here to get himself a girlfriend.

''No way!'' Ino exclaimed, looking surprised.

She was right. There was no way someone as old as Jiraiya had-

''How come I don't know about it?'' Ino frowned.

Orochimaru couldn't believe it! Ino wasn't glad because she didn't know, not because she thought it was wrong or inappropriate!

''Is it fresh or he's been keeping it a secret?'' she asked quietly, leaning on her elbows on the counter.

Swallowing hard, Orochimaru got the point and did the same, to talk to her as close as possible.

''Well,'' Ino whispered, ''Is she someone I know?''

''She is.''

Considering the situation, Orochimaru was lying easily, feeling nervous instead of guilty.

''And I didn't notice!'' she muttered to herself.

He tried to act natural, despite the fact she was so close to him he could feel her sweet breath.

''Anyway, what kind of love is it?''

''Love?'' he repeated, staring at her bright eyes only an inch from him.

''Well yes!'' she said happily and straighten, ''Is it passionate or reserved, shy or explicit?''

''I don't follow,'' he admitted, completely mesmerized seeing her in her element.

''Men,'' she sighed, a bit amused because of his ignorance.

A moment after, she went to the back room.

''Is everything okay?'' he asked, wondering if he had done something to cross the line.

''I will demonstrate!'' she yelled.

Having no other option, Orochimaru was waiting for Ino to come back.

''See these?'' she put flowers with white petals on the counter, ''It's a perfect gift for shy lovers.''

He took one of them to observe it better.

''A daisy?'' he asked warily, knowing a wrong presumption might end up in disaster.

''Yes!'' she smirked, ''Loves me-loves me not flower!''

''It makes sense,'' he said, putting a daisy back on its place.

He didn't need to check if certain someone loved him or not. He didn't need a flower to know the obvious.

''Somehow I don't see Jiraiya-sama as a shy man, so maybe roses would be better!''

Now she got back with several roses, each one of them in a different colour.

''For a passionate, fresh relationship I recommend red rose!''

Orochimaru took a red rose Ino had in her stretched hand, careful because of many thorns.

''Or if it's a forbidden and kind of exciting relationship, I have a wild rose.''

This rose had a thiner stem and Ino was holding the flower with two hands; one for the stem and with one palm she cupped the fragile petals.

''This one also smells differently,'' she brought the flower to her nose to smell it, ''Do you want to try?''

Orochimaru took a deep breath, trying to think.

He decided to buy flower for her from her, he lied to her and he was holding a single stalk of a red rose for Jiraiya's imaginary girlfriend. It wouldn't hurt if he felt the wild rose fragrance for himself, would it?

''Fine,'' he finally said, releasing the red rose he held.

''Easy there,'' Ino warned him, placing her palm over his, ''This is one delicate flower and it has to be treated with care!''

He wished he could think about the flower petals in his palm and not about Ino's hands so close to his. So gentle. So perfect.

''Well?'' she interrupted his thoughts, ''How do you like the scent?''

How could anyone be concentrated on flowers in her presence? This was also the first time to see her occupied with something nicer than patients, while she was more relaxed and easy-going. Anyhow, he tried to look cool and focused on his task to buy flowers, so he repeated the same she had done a moment ago. The petals were tickling his nose and he couldn't stop thinking how ridiculous he must look.

''I would dare to say you like it!'' Ino chuckled.

''I do?'' he asked and handed Ino the rose.

''Uh-huh,'' she nodded, putting the rose on the counter.

Until now he wasn't aware he's been smiling the whole time.

And he didn't feel as nervous as he'd anticipated he would be. Maybe because she was the one talking and he was listening, but mostly staring at her perfection.

''What about the pink one?'' he asked to change the subject.

''Those are for young lovers.''

''Oh.''

''Like very young. Teenagers, while their love is still innocent and has to develop into something more important or sadly end.''

''So white one is for the old lovers?'' he concluded.

''There are no old lovers!'' she enlightened him, ''Well, not old in age, if that's what you had in mind. I said teenagers before because in that age relationships are rarely serious and deep. White roses are also meant for friends or lovers who love and respect each other very much. White roses are very popular at the weddings.''

The more he knew, he had a feeling he would leave empty-handed.

''It's hard to make a decision,'' he explained.

''Well there are many meanings of flowers,'' she smiled.

''If you would be so kind and not mention any of this to Jiraiya.''

She understood his request and nodded.

''My lips are sealed.''

With a small sigh of pleasure, Orochimaru was thinking about Ino's lips when he left the flower shop. Her lips were forbidden for him. He could only imagine what they tasted like because they were out of reach. For now.

He sighed again. Who was he fooling? Ino wasn't within his reach and she would never be.


	4. Golden opportunity

_**Golden opportunity**_

''Orochimaru-sama!''

He wasn't sleeping well for months and last week's visit to the flower shop only made this inexplicable obsession even worse-he was imagining Ino's voice in the middle of the street in the middle of the day.

''Wait up!''

He stunned. In his fantasies Ino wasn't the one giving orders. He slowly turned to see where this sweet voice was coming from.

''Orochimaru-sama,'' Ino greeted him politely, ''Where have you been? I haven't seen you in days.''

Could it be? She missed him?

''I mean, you didn't give me a task for the last week. I really did my best with that report and-''

She was adorable. She noticed he stopped coming to the hospital, mostly to avoid unnecessary conversations with Jiraiya who was now watching his every move, and she thought the reason was her sloppily done assignment.

''I was perfectly satisfied with the report,'' he said to stop her concern, ''You did a good job.''

With all that nonsense at the flower shop, he totally forgot to give her a present to make it up to her for the great work she'd done.

''Oh. Thank you.''

She seemed embarrassed by his compliment.

''I was busy recently,'' he added to make his explanation more compelling.

''Well, I can see that. You look like you had a rough night.''

''Rough night?'' he repeated, not believing she was implying he'd spent the night awake and not alone!

''You didn't hear me when I was calling you before,'' she shrugged, ''You must be sleepy because you work too much.''

That made sense. He didn't stop by to give her more work, meaning he was on his own and his mind was preoccupied with her the entire night, so he was doubtful about meeting her in public for real. All of what she had said revealed he was thinking of him!

''You are probably on your way home,'' she said with a small smile, ''And I am bothering you.''

''You are not!'' he said immediately.

How could she bother him? Then again, if she'd noticed he was looking exhausted, maybe it wouldn't hurt to relax. And invite her along!

''I was thinking about a refreshing tea,'' he said simply, ''If you are not busy, you may join me.''

This was a great opportunity to get to know her better during a casual conversation.

''My treat,'' he added.

He should have thought about being alone with her, prepared an interesting topic to talk about or maybe suggested a different drink than a tea. Considering how different they were, this invitation was as good as any other because there wasn't a moment he was an irresistible young lad with whom breathtaking young kunoichi like Ino wanted to have a drink.

''Are you sure?''

He has never been so certain in his entire life!

''What's better than to have a nice cup of tea after a long day?''

His proposal was so smooth he couldn't hide his delight.

''Actually, I am doing the night shift.''

''You can drink coffee,'' he shrugged.

''I didn't mean that,'' she chuckled, ''I don't have more than an hour to spend with you.''

An entire hour? For him? With her?

''We should pick our table then,'' he heard himself saying.

There was no time to lose and they sat down to have tea in one of the tea houses close enough to the hospital. Even if there was somebody he knew, Orochimaru didn't see anyone except Ino who spotted a small table for the two of them.

He was staring at her silently while she's been reading the price list. He already knew what he would have. Her! Not her, but the same as her. Even if that was poison.

They didn't manage to talk because their tea arrived too soon. Two mugs and a teapot. And Ino.

''I will pour that for you!'' she announced and took the teapot.

He didn't object, although he should have been the one doing it.

''Look, a tea twig!'' she said, looking at his mug, ''It means a good luck.''

He had all the luck he needed. Ino was having a tea with him!

''Are you hungry maybe? We can have a quick bite if you are.''

''I am not.''

To hide his disappointment she had turned him down so quickly, Orochimaru lifted his mug to drink some tea.

''I should be more careful with food anyway.''

He wished he didn't hear that because he nearly choked!

''What?'' he managed to ask, still coughing quietly.

''I shouldn't eat every time I am hungry,'' she shrugged.

He took a moment to process that unimaginable statement. Ino was thinking she was fat? Or that she needed to lose weight? Or she was something different from perfect?

There weren't many sylphlike kunoichi. They were either bony or too muscular. And Ino wasn't. She was a vision of loveliness. Her rosy cheeks, her sleek neck, perfect feminine figure, slender waist, dainty hands-

''By staring that way, you must think the same,'' she said, folding her arms and looking away.

She got angry. She thought he agreed with her because he was staring like an idiot! For goodness sake, how should he apologize and not turn out to be a pervert?

''I didn't mean to be rude. I only wanted to make sure I didn't miss something obvious. I have to disappoint you, my eyesight is perfect and I have no idea what you are talking about.''

She gave him a look like she wanted explanation, but he refused to say something more, dedicated to his tea. One more word and he would unintentionally reveal he's been drooling over her for months! She must have known she was beautiful; he didn't have to be the one pointing it out. First, it would be inappropriate and second, her looks was the least important to him. He couldn't be sure, but it was the way she was looking at him and smiling at the same time, sound of her voice and her restless spirit.

They discussed her weight, so next in line was her age. She looked like twenty. Then again, Tsunade was also looking like that and she was older than Orochimaru. He had enough of irrelevant information. What difference did it make if she was twenty or twenty-two if he would never be something more than an acquaintance to her?

The silence was lasting too long because he was thinking too much. He only had to forget Ino was sitting across the table and ask a common question about her hobbies, interests or job. Job!

''How did you decide to become a medical ninja in the first place?''

''Rivalry. With my best friend. Very mature.''

''Pink girl?''

''How pathetic, isn't it?''

''Why would it be? Rivalry encourages you both to become stronger, or in your case more skillful. Uchiha brothers are the finest example of a beneficial rivalry.''

''I guess,'' she shrugged.

This was surprising. If he had mentioned Sasuke in front of that pink girl, she would become hysterical and annoy Orochimaru with questions about their training. He was certain her enthusiasm annoyed Sasuke as well.

When it would come to Itachi, who was better in every way, Orochimaru couldn't believe a thought of Uchiha heir would make any woman indifferent. Unless Ino wasn't shallow and didn't care about looks at all. Or strength. Or reputation.

Then again, maybe Ino already had a perfect boyfriend about whom Orochimaru knew nothing and she agreed to have a cup of tea with the old man because she didn't think of it as a date. Could this be considered as a real date? Or maybe it was for the best to stick with the topic about her work.

''So you like your job as a medic?''

''It's fine. I don't hate the job, I hate when patients are in pain. Hospital is definitely the worst place to look for a boyfriend. You don't want somebody dear to you spend so much time in pain even if you are the one taking care of him.''

Orochimaru couldn't be happy with what he'd heard. Although she didn't have a boyfriend, she wasn't fond of men who were spending their time endangering their life.

''Interesting theory. Then again, there are civilian men.''

''You can't be serious! Don't you think I should be protected and not the one protecting?''

This made him smirk. He was the most qualified when it would come to strength and skills. Especially if Ino was the one who needed his help.

''What about you?'' she asked suddenly.

''About me?'' he repeated.

He wished her to be more specific. Did she want to know if he was looking for a boyfriend in the hospital or if he preffered civilian men? If so, how should he answer that and not seem vulgar? As far as he knew, he liked women. Well, not all of them like Jiraiya, but all of his so-called relationships were including women. Why was this talking thing so complicated?

''What are you doing at the moment?'' Ino explained, ''Are you searching for a new student maybe?''

The last female student was Anko. And she was a good student. But how come Ino was interested? It didn't matter because they were on the right path again.

''I could see for myself how skilled Anko-sensei is.''

Was he stupid or what? That was what Jiraiya was talking about! He was legendary Sannin and he had a lot of skills and knowledge to pass on to whoever seemed worthy. And he would definitely do his best to make Ino stronger. If she wanted to.

''If you are interested, the place of my student isn't taken.''

There. Finally something he could feel proud about. He inderectly proposed to her to become his student. It was the first thing he said the entire day that didn't sound totally inappropriate.

''If you promise not to laugh, I will reveal a secret to you.''

She had a secret she wanted to share with him? About his guidance? About becoming his apprentice instead of Tsunade's? About becoming his personal nurse during experiments? If any of it was her secret, why would he laugh?

He nodded briefly anyway, impatient to hear what this adorable girl was hiding from everyone.

''I am afraid of snakes.''

Hearing her quiet confession didn't get him in the mood for laugh. Or chuckle. It made him desperate! All he knew, all he dedicated his life to, all he was-everything about him was related to snakes! And now she told him she was afraid of them! The only thing worse she could have said was that she was in love with legendary Sannin and his name was Jiraiya!

''Is that the reason you never wanted to learn from someone like me?''

''And what could you teach a kunoichi who would scream whenever you would try to demonstrate an attack?''

Image of Ino's scared face and her sheepish voice, while only he was able to make her feel better, made him smirk. In a second he was grinning because he was picturing himself as her rescuer. Her gratitude after his heroic act made him chuckle.

''Hey!'' she frowned, ''You promised you wouldn't laugh!''

''I am sorry,'' he cleared his throat to stop giggling, ''But you have to admit it's funny. I am the person who resembles snakes the most and you accepted my invitation.''

''Well, yeah,'' she shrugged, ''But you are not a cold-blooded animal.''

By saying that, she tapped her fingers on his palm, as if she wanted to prove his hands were as warm as hers. That simple touch made him paralyzed because he was trying not to overreact.

''And,'' she continued, moving her palm away, ''I doubt your mouth is ful of venom.''

She was staring at his mouth. His lips. She was thinking about his tongue!

''True,'' he replied plainly.

She didn't have to know he was resisting the temptation to behave like an animal and fill her with his poison.

''Therefore, you are not afraid of me,'' he concluded.

''Of course not!'' she smiled.

''And we can do this again,'' he heard himself proposing.

''I don't see why not,'' she shrugged.

Unlike him, who hated cold drinks, Ino waited for her tea to cool down. The way she was holding her tea-cup in her small palm made him speechless. She was doing everything with so much grace he was literally bedazzled with her.

Aware he was watching her intently, she smiled shyly.

''I need to leave now.''

That hour went by as a blink of an eye. He had so much more to ask her, but he doubted there was something repulsive about her.

''Ino.''

''Yes, Orochimaru-sama?''

She smiled at him while getting up.

''I enjoyed your company.''

Actually more than he thought he would. And he knew in advance it would be perfect!

''See you!'' she waved and with her brightest smile, left the tea house.

He remained sitting for a long moment after she'd left. He was staring at the spot Ino used to sit and he couldn't decide whether or not he was glad Jiraiya had been wrong about her.

Ino was charming, fun to talk to, adorable to look at, smart, polite and kind.

Every smile he got today made him weaker and softer.

Slowly, but for real he was falling for her unstoppably. And he could say goodbye to calm napping because he would probably rewind this so-called date in his head over and over again.


	5. Irreplaceable

_**Irreplaceable**_

''Orochimaru-sama!''

Oh no. His worst nightmare. Pink girl. Hysterical.

''What?'' he sighed.

''Ino sent me to get you!''

He followed Ino's friend, leaving behind his irrelevant work. Ino needed him!

Was it a private or personal matter? Has she tried one of his treatments, found a boyfriend or encountered a snake? Maybe a new sort of roses was delivered and she wanted to show it to him? Did she change her mind about becoming his pupil? Did she find out everything about Jiraiya's fake girlfriend and was about to scold him for lying to her? Did one of his drunkard friends blurt out about his feelings for her?

This anticipation was driving him crazy and he had to know more to act faster!

''Where do I need to go?''

''To the hospital! She needs your help!''

He became one shade paler.

''Is she all right? Is she hurt?''

''I don't know!''

Not only pink girl lacked information, she was slow, and Orochimaru left her behind him to rush to Ino's rescue!

Why would she ask for him if she was injured? He couldn't be of any help and she knew well what he was capable of, therefore it probably wasn't anything lethal. Then again, pink girl was the one with whom Ino was competing. Ino would have never admitted weakness and sent her to get anyone's help, meaning this was something urgent!

Fortunately, Orochimaru found Ino quickly. She was wearing a nurse outfit and she was also holding a mask in her hand.

She waved at him when she had seen him.

''It's an emergency! The patient was poisoned!''

He was trying to listen, but he couldn't stop searching for a proof on her she was all right.

''Will you help me?''

What kind of question was that?

''Of course!''

''Here, put this on!''

She gave him a mask.

''I am probably resistant.''

''Put it on!'' she ordered, ''I can't risk it because I need you!''

He put the mask on. He didn't want to make her worry even more.

''And gloves!''

That made him smirk. For a moment his palms were cloaked in a green tickling chakra that made his skin impenetrable for any substance. He could show off a little while helping, now that he knew she was okay.

Ino nodded and lead him to the one of the single rooms. There was a man lying unconscious on the operation table. Orochimaru didn't recognize him. Men with no forehead protectors and wearing no shirt all looked the same-like enemies and also ugly. He didn't really care who the patient was, he was there because Ino requested his presence.

''By the way, how do you know what happened? Did someone come to explain?''

''I read his mind,'' she explained.

''And how did you perform mind reading?''

''I put my palms on his-''

''Your bare palms?'' he interrupted.

''Uh-huh,'' she nodded.

''Why did you do that?'' he snapped.

''Because he is a patient and-''

''It's possible you are poisoned too!''

He tried to calm down. He just yelled at Ino for doing her job. But she brought herself in danger!

''Never mind,'' he said quickly, ''Take off your gloves so I could examine you!''

She nodded and stretched out her palms for him to observe, having a sheepish look in her beautiful eyes. He didn't want to lecture, but he definitely wasn't about to apologize for yelling. Her well-being was a priority to him and it should have been to her too!

Luckily for that incompetent shinobi who wasn't capable of taking care of himself, Ino was unaffected. It must have been a simple poison, not some sort of biochemical weapon he would have designed years ago if Tsunade had let him.

''You can't help somebody if you endanger yourself,'' he said, releasing Ino's palms.

''It's a medic's duty to take care of the patient. I wouldn't have known what had happened if I hadn't read his mind.''

He hated he had to agree with her. It was a reasonable decision for someone as kind as her. He certainly wouldn't risk his life for somebody so irrelevant. Then again, maybe this shinobi wasn't somebody unimportant to her.

As Orochimaru could conclude after a short glimpse, the man was unharmed, yet he seemed to have a nightmare, which might occur as a side-effect of many kinds of poisons. However, his pupils reacted to light, pulse was consistent and skin colour was unchanged. Ino already prepared a blood sample to analyse it and Orochimaru recognised the substance's structure immediately.

''Well?'' Ino asked quietly.

''Nothing fatal.''

She couldn't hide her relief.

''You only have to suck out the poison.''

''Wouldn't that be dangerous? I could swallow it and-''

''Not literally!'' he interrupted that disturbing thought, ''You will create an emulsion that will suck out the poison instead of you.''

''Oh.''

''Convenient, isn't it?'' he smirked.

''Yeah.''

Ino quickly gathered the necessary equipment and she was readying the patient while he was busy with mixing the ingredients to create the emulsion.

''I will walk you through it if you want to learn,'' he said when the emulsion was ready.

''Of course! That way I won't have to bother you next time!''

She couldn't possibly bother him, but he didn't say it out loud. This wasn't a time or place.

''We can do together the first one, if you want,'' he offered.

''Good idea,'' she nodded.

Ino logically concluded she didn't need gloves any more and she was ready to begin. She also left the mask on in case poison would leak out after being extracted.

''Like this,'' he said and put an opened palm above the emulsion. With the small amount of chakra he created a small bubble.

Ino mimicked his moves, only her bubble was a bit bigger, which wasn't wrong, only different. She was learning pretty fast. Then again, this was his first time to see her on duty. Maybe she was able to do much more, only he didn't get the chance to see it.

''Now you move over a bubble above the chest,'' he instructed her.

She did what she has been told. The bubble expectedly disappeared and she looked at her teacher sheepishly.

''Put your hands over the same spot,'' he said and demonstrated.

She nodded and let his hand lead her own.

''A bit of chakra,'' he said and chuckled quietly right away. She created a bubble before he spoke, he only didn't see it, distracted with more important things, like her hands in his.

Her pride was obvious when she scrapped the bubble containing drops of poison.

He nodded to encourage her to proceed on her own. She was skilful, fast and precise. Her bubbles were all the same size and each time she would extract more poison. After she had used half of the emulsion, he didn't have to suggest to check on the patient. She did it herself and happily announced there was only a small amount of poison left in the patient's blood system.

He never felt so proud. Ino was happy because of him. She learned something useful from a snake-expert and he got more time to spend in her company, to see for himself how irresistible she actually was.

That serene ambient was ruined by the one who was to blame for putting Ino and Orochimaru together-the patient. He murmured something and Ino was overjoyed.

''There is no need to worry,'' she said happily, ''You will be fine!''

Despite her mask, Orochimaru knew Ino smiled. At the patient, not at him.

''Orochimaru-sama is here to help and he is the best!''

Her cheerful chatting with mostly unconscious patient was making Orochimaru angry. He couldn't tell why, as he has never felt anger of this kind, but he wished Ino stopped talking. And smiling!

''I don't have much left, Orochimaru-sama, and you are free to go!''

Great. Now he was unwanted. What happened in the last thirty seconds?

''I mean, that is only if you think I am able to finish without your directives.''

''You are more than ready,'' he said flatly. He got the point to leave and quickly strode out of the operation room.

''Don't forget to wash your hands!'' Ino's cheerful shout stopped him from storming out of the hospital.

It was a good idea to clear his mind with cold water. What was he thinking? He didn't belong here; people in hospital were either healers or in need for healing. He was neither of it and he should return to his daily routine. Pretence to be something he wasn't wouldn't do him any good. He seemed like he didn't have anything better to do than supervise someone else's work that wasn't even close to his domain. Technically, poisons were, but using them as an asset in battle, not disabling their effects. But how could he not provide advice and assistance to Ino?

''What happened to you?''

Hearing voice of another blonde, he sighed, annoyed. He wished to leave, now when he had taken care of the hygiene.

''Nothing,'' he replied to Tsunade, looking at the entrance door few steps behind her.

''_Nothing_ is approaching,'' Tsunade teased and passed him by.

He turned around and saw Tsunade walking away from him and Ino running towards him. She nodded to greet Tsunade as she ran, and then she waved at him.

''Orochimaru-sama.''

That voice would melt him every time. He couldn't even remember why he was in a bad mood a moment before.

''The patient fell asleep, but can you make sure his body is clean now?''

Oh right, the patient. That was the reason for being at the hospital.

''Please!''

Did anyone succeed in saying no to her?

''Let's hurry,'' she said, while walking fast in front of him.

She held the door for him and Orochimaru could notice the patient's cheeks were now rosy instead of pale, he was breathing soundly and he seemed calm.

He checked his vital functions anyway, knowing that was what Ino wanted. When he had done it, Ino put her finger over her lips as a signal to keep quiet and they left the operation room.

Aware Ino was eager to hear his professional opinion, Orochimaru didn't wait long. As soon as the door closed, he had a good news for her.

''You did well.''

''Thank you so much!'' she said in a chirpy tone, smiling, ''How can I ever repay you?''

After quite some time, Orochimaru knew exactly what he needed to say.

''It was nothing, really,'' he said humbly, ''Anybody would do the same.''

''Oh Orochimaru-sama!''

Okay. This wasn't something he was prepared for and his response was fake calmness and indifference while trying to relax.

Breathe in. Ino was hugging him.

Breathe out. It wasn't a big deal.

Breathe in. It was a simple sign of gratitude and happiness.

Breathe out. It was the best hug he's ever got.

''Thank you,'' she repeated when she let go of him.

''Any time.''

He knew she was polite, but the procedure he had shown to her wasn't that complicated. She was definitely thanking him too much. And he wouldn't object if she was only grateful. She was acting like he had done something big, admiring, outstanding. Or maybe it meant to her much more than to anybody else. Not because of the act or the one who came to help, but because of the one who was counting on her and who was certain she wouldn't fail him. The patient was the one Ino cared for.

It was so obvious and he was too blind to see it. She forgot about her rival, called for him, wanted to get rid of him after the patient woke up. In fact, Ino wasn't wasting Orochimaru's time. It was the other way around.

''I guess you will stay by your boyfriend through the night.''

''My boyfriend?''

He must have been wrong because he's never seen Ino pouting this way. Nevertheless, he decided to explain his assumption.

''Didn't you say you would hate to see someone dear to you in pain?''

''I did,'' she replied quickly, still frowning.

''I am poison expert and you kind of overreacted,'' he shrugged.

''So you think I should treat my boyfriend that way?''

He would definitely make sure his significant other get the best possible treatment. He couldn't know Ino wouldn't.

''My boyfriend being my patient would only make me upset and it would be impossible for me to calm down.''

He totally forgot how unreasonable women used to behave around their beloved ones. In one moment they would be overjoyed, and in another angry as hell.

''I was nervous because Tsunade-sama entrusted the patient to me, labelling him as an easy subject,'' Ino explained, ''Don't you think I have a better chance to charm my beloved one some place else than at the hospital?''

''I don't know,'' he said quietly.

''You don't know much about relationships, do you?'' she asked, sighing deeply.

''I guess I should mind my own business.''

She gave him a small smile and her pouting frown was almost gone. Glad she wasn't too angry with him, he took the opportunity to praise her skills.

''You would be a fine apprentice of mine.''

It wasn't common for a passionate florist to be a talented medic also and Ino obviously had many different interests, meaning she was persistent and ready to obtain as much knowledge as possible to become an exceptional kunoichi.

''Too bad I am afraid of snakes,'' she shrugged.

''Too bad,'' he agreed.

The loss was actually his. He needed ninja of this kind: obedient, devoted and stubborn fast learners, strong-willed and skilful risk takers.

''Maybe I overcome my fear eventually.''

Did she just imply there was hope, a chance to reveal to her his biggest secrets and make her invincible? Of course, that would mean sacrificing a few years on training with him, but it was definitely worth it!

''Let's hope that happens _before_ you get tired of helping me.''

Now that was so sweet. She didn't want to think of snakes as friendly creatures because she was greedy for more power, but because she thought she was a nuisance. If he hadn't been smitten with her already, he would have certainly fallen for her at that moment. She thought she was wasting his time, that his help was optional, not obligated, and she didn't think of herself at all.

''You can always count on me.''

That made her smile shyly.

''Thank you so much.''

And then, out of nowhere, with no warning in advance, she planted a small light kiss on his cheek. It was quick too, but it was definitely the one to remember.

Her lips were so soft, just like he imagined, and their touch was tender, not aggressive.

Just when Orochimaru wanted to say he would be her support anywhere at all times under any circumstances, the patient regained conciousness and his cries for help got Ino's attention.

''Until some other time!'' she said and went to carry on with treating the patient.

Orochimaru watched her leave, having dreamy expression. Yes, he totally hated the patient, but he was grateful for his inability to avoid poisoning. Because of it, Ino had an excuse to give her kiss to desperately in love Sannin. It was probably the first and only one he would ever get. Or maybe until the next chance to help out.


End file.
